BMF BLOODY MARVELLOUS FUN!

Well I am sat here, battered, writing this for you guys to get an idea of our weekend at BMF. Where to start...... 3pm.. After a gusty tent putting up session, we (Ady and Kate) relax for a hour before the evenings entertainment's begin. 4pm.. After an hour or so, we’re bored so we go for a little tootle round to find out what's about.I’m on a mission to find the New Rock stand. I love their shoes so much and had my eye on a pair to get this weekend, more on this story later. We spy a barn half open and decide to go in for a nosy, and I am mighty glad we did. The barn was full of Frank Thomas seconds, we uummmdd and aarrhhdd for a bit and I settled on a pair of Lady Rider leather trousers Iv had my eye on for ages, retail at around the £150 mark, I got em for £30. then me spys a helmet too, £149.99 the sticker says, took it to the counter where I was charged £20. bargain central. We then take a little gems back to the safety of our tent. 6pm.. Time for some bevvies' me thinks, We open our highly recommended bottle of Crawfords whisky, (recommended by a woman in our local tesco, she said it was lovely, what she failed to mention was that it would take the top two layers of skin off the back of your throat) and Ady pours it into a smaller empty Speckled Hen bottle. 6.30.. Armed with Speckled Hen and Whisky in a Speckled Hen bottle we drink and walk into the abyss known as the rock tent. Not pissed enough for that yet, so we leave and drink and laugh and drink and stumble until around half nine. 9.35ish.. We enter the rock tent once more, this time fully pissed on half a litre of whisky and some Speckled Hen between us. We steadily push our way to the front. Brilliant rock disco and everyone was giving it their all to Gun’s ‘n’ Roses, Sweet Child. We met this group of ladies from www.bikersweb.co.uk,we were all merrily rocking away, then this guy, ‘bullet’ starts sending around this 5 litre bottle of what we hoped was cider, I was told it was his urine sample, but it didn't taste like piss to me, but I was too hammered to care. but we were wasted to say the least.jumping around like proper arse holes we were. it was wicked. A bit later on.... No idea what time.. Back at the tent we stumble into our beds for a night of freezing attempted sleep. Next morning.... I did’nt sleep much, very cold, Ady on the other hand slept like a proper drunk, he was out cold all night. We cant eat breakfast, just drink several cups of tea and cappucino to warm us through. 9.40ish... We decide to find the New Rock stand, without luck. so we just keep walking at looking and wanting. In the indoor bit there was this gorgeous ‘Fosters ’ bike, in every colour, we go in for some pics and some info, the company was called Pitstop Paint, and they had just the part we needed, a nice shiny rear brake lever. so off we toddled to the auto jumble and found a dirty brake lever took it straight back the Pitstop Paint and we did a swap and paid £15 quid for the nice shiny one. We are happy smily people. Finally we find the New Rock stand, I find the shoes, I go to make the purchase only to find the price has gone up from the last show they were at, and they weren't even willing to barter. so stuff ‘em, I leave feeling a mixture of sadness but glory that I refused to pay extra. The woman selling them was right up herself anyhow, she was very rude and I got the impression she thought she was better than me, so I will never buy my New Rocks from A Step Ahead in Skegness again. After many hours of shopping and wanting stuff we cant afford, we decide enough is enough and its time for an afternoons nap. which I get all of ten minutes because Ady says he’s too hot to sleep now. 6.30.. So we share out the rest of the whisky and head back into piss head ville. the place I can call home, the place where I finally fit in, the place where people aren't bothered about anything, only to have a good time. A marshall spots us and asks me for a photo of my boobs, so i oblige in exchange for a photo of me in his marshall top and his can of stella.(see photos). We have a look round some stalls that are almost unnoticeable in the day light, and after a lot of whisky and a pint or two I buy a lovely revealing top which says “ stop looking at my tits and get the drinks in” most fitting for me I think. 9.30.. There are a group of mad ladies walking on fire for a charity in india, we get to the front and I nicely embarrass a 16 year old lad by saying the word ‘minge’ infront of him. I gets talking to a guy who’s wife is one of the walkers and he too appreciates my assets. If you’re ever going through Wisbech check out the Five Keys pub there where this guy is landlord. (see pics, its the guy in the hat). 10.15.. We again venture into the rock tent, but the feeling aint the same tonight so we stumble back out, pissed as farts to get food. £5 for a kebab, bloody rip off, but nice. we sit, we eat, the marshall comes back for a second helping, so I oblige again, and take his can of stella too. its tinnies for titties. Slowly we stumble back to our tent, Ady falls flat on his face and cant get up, i just need to sleep, so i cosy down in my new thermal socks and Ady decides he needs to stumble off his alcohol, so he walks for what seems like hours. next morning... I wake up at around half eight and Ady is there, i have no idea when he got back but at least he didn't collapse in a pile of his own vomit somewhere, or worse still vomit on me. We are wasted, very poorly, cant move,heads hurt, need a piss something wicked but very poorly. We make it to the loo’s which by now have started to overflow and stink. I make breakkie and we put the tent down in silence apart from the occasional moan in pain for our heads. We go home.. We go to bed.. And we sleep for hours.. THE REST IS HISTORY........... If you missed BMF then you missed out, If you came i hope you enjoyed it as much as we did. I have never been so wankered in all my 27 yrs but i loved every minute. See you next year folks.